I am clearing out things I have on my work computer and just using this as a place to store things I've written in the past, most of it is unfinished.
Her eyes tantalize me. Those amber-honey jewels watch my everystep when I enter the room. With each step I take, I can feel her eyes follow me. Never wandering off to anything else; she watches me like a lioness watches her prey. Her gaze leaves me only when her curiosity is filled. I want to ask her what she sees in me, but how would she respond? What is she thinking? What is it that she wants from me?
It seems like we’ve shared nine lives together. I can recall when we first met. She came strutting in here with “Whatsherface” acting like she owned the joint. But if there was anyone who could own this place, it would be her. She knows it too. She can’t help but know it. Everyone tells her of her beauty and I can see, when they tell her how damn pretty she is, they dream of her eyes and her lips and wish they were theirs. There have been times that I have been around her, admiring her face, or they way her body contours to fit into any image I can think. But when she’ll finally speaks to me, I am so caught up in my thoughts I can’t even remember my name – it’s like the cat’s got my tongue.
At first when we met she was so standoffish that anytime I would come within a foot of her she would say something nasty to me and take off in the other direction. Throughout all these years, she still hasn’t opened up to me. She’ll say “Hi” in passing, but she’s so sassy and never stays around long enough for me to talk with her, I mean really talk with her. At times it drives me crazy. Crazy enough I can’t control myself!
It always ends up the same with her when we fight. We hit each other with our harshest words, our strongest fists, never taking a moment to consider how life will be afterwards. We only stop when one of us realizes we’ve emptied the salt shaker on the others wounds, neither one of us can cough up the courage to have it any other way. Marley, Marley, Marley…
It must be 100 degrees in here. Where is everyone anyway? They always disappear about this time of the day. When they return everyone is nonchalant, acting like they haven’t been gone for hours. Oblivious to what has taken place here. It is probably better that way. I want to talk to Guy* about what is happening with Marley and me but can he help? Will he even care? He probably won’t. He is so caught up with either “Whatsherface” or that damn talking box that he probably doesn’t even care about my problems. Listen to me feeling sorry for myself. He does care and I know it.
In the mornings before Guy leaves, he brings me breakfast and an iced beverage. He strokes my hair softly before he leaves and wishes me a good day. “Whatsherface” isn’t really as bad as a papercut. Before she leaves she gives me a kiss and tries to talk Guy into taking me with her. She never wins. No matter how she pleads or waves her hands, Guy doesn’t bend with his answer.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Resiliant Mind. Resiliant Body. Resiliant Soul.
When I was around 19 or 20 I spent many a weekend horseback riding in Northern Virginia. It came to fruition because one day I was sharing with a friend of mine, Sonya, my childhood dreams of riding horses and hopefully one day owning horses of my own. Unbeknownst to me Sonya knew of these weekend cowboys who had horses and were looking for people to "stretch them out" and wonderfully enough the stables where the horses lived were a mile away from where I lived. I can not even begin to describe my sheer joy and excitement that I had when Sonya asked if I would be interested in helping her exercise the horses. Without hesitation I agreed, Sonya made some phone calls and we were headed out to meet the horses.
I was so excited to have the opportunity to ride horses especially ride them regularly, that I intentionally played down the fact to Sonya that I had never actually been horse back riding before. In my mind I was totally experienced; there was that time when I was about 6 and my mom put me on the back of a horse at Dr. Iglesias ranch and she led the horse around... I was on its back so technically, I had in fact ridden a horse before. Fortunately, in the make-up of Cecily Garcia, I am a terrible liar and can not hold a secret in any fashion be it of benevolent or malevolent intent. Upon arriving at the stables I confessed to Sonya that I was completely inexperienced. Sonya didn't care and said she'd teach me everything I'd need to know. It was going to be just me and her that day, so I would have plenty of time to learn everything I needed to know.
So there we are preparing the horses for a ride a.k.a. "tacking them up". My horse, his name was Vinnie and he was a very small Arabian horse, all brown who was known to pick on the other horses (biting their butts, trying to eat their food, etc.) and I was in love with him no matter his faults. While preparing the horses, the weekend Cowboys unexpectedly showed up. They wanted to meet the new girl who was going to be working their horses, and guide us on our first ride. Meaning, they were sizing me and my absent horse riding skills up.
We rode western style, on a trail ride, and we started out by walking, then trotting, and within the first 15 minutes we were in a full cantor. There were about 5 of us out that day and the horses followed in a single line, one after the other, mimicking each others moves, adjusting speed and direction based on the lead horse. The horses were flying. We were flying! We were turning corners, ducking under branches, jumping over fallen branches, the wind was whistling past my ears and making my eyes water.
It was pure exhilaration! I remember my heart racing, my adrenaline pumping, and I was smiling. I was taking a mental snapshot of that moment in my life. I was living my dream and in love with every passing second, when the next thing I know I am flying through the air! As we were turning a corner the horse riding behind me came up to close to Vinnie, who was apparently very sensitive about the other horses being to close to his rear, so he started bucking. I wasn't expecting the motion, nor did I know how to ride, so I flew off of him and landed in the forest shrubbery on my butt.
During my time in the air, the rest of the crew came to a screeching halt and when I looked up there were 9 sets of eyes looking at me, awaiting my response. My heart was in my stomach, my stomach was in my throat, and my ego was crushed. I was horrified when I looked up and saw everyone staring at me and my horse standing there, riderless. Every reaction in my body was to burst out in tears. I was afraid. I was scared. I was hurt...and worst of all I had to get back on that horse, we were miles from the ranch!
It was silent, everyone was staring at me waiting for my next move. I was a mess. I was having so much fun, I wanted to keep riding but I was scared. But I wanted to do this since I was a little girl, how could I give up? And give up so easily? I stood up, relieved that nothing was broken, dusted the grass, leaves, and twigs off of me and went back to Vinnie. I looked into his dark brown eyes and mounted him. The lead cowboy yelled, "Let's go!" and we were off, as though nothing had happened.
I think about that moment in time and that experience almost daily. When someone crushes me on the mats and I feel shattered. When someone says they don't think I can, I wonder if they are right. But there is something that I know and I know this in my core, without a shadow of a doubt, I don't give up. I won't give up. I will have what I want no matter how tough it might be to achieve my goals.
By the way through my horseback riding experience, I was bucked off by another horse, bitten by another, and walked on by yet another (I have the scars to prove this) and I still have a dream that I will have at least one horse before I retire. Also, Vinnie ruled but he is probably glue somewhere.
Glendale Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, La Crescenta Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, Pasadena Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, Burbank Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, Glendale MMA, La Crescenta MMA, Pasadena MMA, Burbank MMA, Los Angeles MMA
PS I am still beyond stoked to train at M3 Fight and Fitness!
I was so excited to have the opportunity to ride horses especially ride them regularly, that I intentionally played down the fact to Sonya that I had never actually been horse back riding before. In my mind I was totally experienced; there was that time when I was about 6 and my mom put me on the back of a horse at Dr. Iglesias ranch and she led the horse around... I was on its back so technically, I had in fact ridden a horse before. Fortunately, in the make-up of Cecily Garcia, I am a terrible liar and can not hold a secret in any fashion be it of benevolent or malevolent intent. Upon arriving at the stables I confessed to Sonya that I was completely inexperienced. Sonya didn't care and said she'd teach me everything I'd need to know. It was going to be just me and her that day, so I would have plenty of time to learn everything I needed to know.
So there we are preparing the horses for a ride a.k.a. "tacking them up". My horse, his name was Vinnie and he was a very small Arabian horse, all brown who was known to pick on the other horses (biting their butts, trying to eat their food, etc.) and I was in love with him no matter his faults. While preparing the horses, the weekend Cowboys unexpectedly showed up. They wanted to meet the new girl who was going to be working their horses, and guide us on our first ride. Meaning, they were sizing me and my absent horse riding skills up.
We rode western style, on a trail ride, and we started out by walking, then trotting, and within the first 15 minutes we were in a full cantor. There were about 5 of us out that day and the horses followed in a single line, one after the other, mimicking each others moves, adjusting speed and direction based on the lead horse. The horses were flying. We were flying! We were turning corners, ducking under branches, jumping over fallen branches, the wind was whistling past my ears and making my eyes water.
It was pure exhilaration! I remember my heart racing, my adrenaline pumping, and I was smiling. I was taking a mental snapshot of that moment in my life. I was living my dream and in love with every passing second, when the next thing I know I am flying through the air! As we were turning a corner the horse riding behind me came up to close to Vinnie, who was apparently very sensitive about the other horses being to close to his rear, so he started bucking. I wasn't expecting the motion, nor did I know how to ride, so I flew off of him and landed in the forest shrubbery on my butt.
During my time in the air, the rest of the crew came to a screeching halt and when I looked up there were 9 sets of eyes looking at me, awaiting my response. My heart was in my stomach, my stomach was in my throat, and my ego was crushed. I was horrified when I looked up and saw everyone staring at me and my horse standing there, riderless. Every reaction in my body was to burst out in tears. I was afraid. I was scared. I was hurt...and worst of all I had to get back on that horse, we were miles from the ranch!
It was silent, everyone was staring at me waiting for my next move. I was a mess. I was having so much fun, I wanted to keep riding but I was scared. But I wanted to do this since I was a little girl, how could I give up? And give up so easily? I stood up, relieved that nothing was broken, dusted the grass, leaves, and twigs off of me and went back to Vinnie. I looked into his dark brown eyes and mounted him. The lead cowboy yelled, "Let's go!" and we were off, as though nothing had happened.
I think about that moment in time and that experience almost daily. When someone crushes me on the mats and I feel shattered. When someone says they don't think I can, I wonder if they are right. But there is something that I know and I know this in my core, without a shadow of a doubt, I don't give up. I won't give up. I will have what I want no matter how tough it might be to achieve my goals.
By the way through my horseback riding experience, I was bucked off by another horse, bitten by another, and walked on by yet another (I have the scars to prove this) and I still have a dream that I will have at least one horse before I retire. Also, Vinnie ruled but he is probably glue somewhere.
Glendale Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, La Crescenta Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, Pasadena Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, Burbank Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, Glendale MMA, La Crescenta MMA, Pasadena MMA, Burbank MMA, Los Angeles MMA
PS I am still beyond stoked to train at M3 Fight and Fitness!
Thursday, January 20, 2011
I feel like a race horse in the stalls waiting for the gates to open, on all accounts.
Greetings earthlings and martians alike! I am going to try this thing we call "Blogging" out and see how it goes. In my opinion, blogging is quite vain...it's like writing thoughts down with the expectation that people care about what is going on in my world and want to take time out of their day to read what is going on in my day. At the end of the day we all know that it, my thoughts, will be sent to the vast nothingness of the internet under the pretense of a "blog".
So here it is folks entry #1.
I am pretty stoked about several new decisions in my life. I have decided to sell my house, move from the East Coast to the West Coast and train for competing in the 2011 Pan Ams. I am also entertaining the idea of opening up my own business, but I think that may be too aggressive of me at this time. I am completely thrilled about all of these decisions.
I will be leaving Richmond and Richmond Brazilian Jiu Jitsu between March 15 and May 15 of this year. I will be moving to the Glendale,La Crescenta, Pasadena, Burbank, LA, area and will be training at Rudy's academy, M3 Fight and Fitness. While moving I am going to be training for the 2011 Pan Ams, trying to lose some weight, sell my house and take care of my two puppies.
The best part is that none of this feels like work. All of the goals I have between now and May are goals that are enabling me to be exactly what I am, the happiest Celery of all time!
Glendale Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, La Crescenta Muay Thai, Pasadena UFC, Burbank Mixed Martial Arts, LA Submission Grappling
So here it is folks entry #1.
I am pretty stoked about several new decisions in my life. I have decided to sell my house, move from the East Coast to the West Coast and train for competing in the 2011 Pan Ams. I am also entertaining the idea of opening up my own business, but I think that may be too aggressive of me at this time. I am completely thrilled about all of these decisions.
I will be leaving Richmond and Richmond Brazilian Jiu Jitsu between March 15 and May 15 of this year. I will be moving to the Glendale,La Crescenta, Pasadena, Burbank, LA, area and will be training at Rudy's academy, M3 Fight and Fitness. While moving I am going to be training for the 2011 Pan Ams, trying to lose some weight, sell my house and take care of my two puppies.
The best part is that none of this feels like work. All of the goals I have between now and May are goals that are enabling me to be exactly what I am, the happiest Celery of all time!
Glendale Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, La Crescenta Muay Thai, Pasadena UFC, Burbank Mixed Martial Arts, LA Submission Grappling
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